Man. If Facebook were a person, I’ll bitch slap him/her upside down for ruining my stalker-life.
I was reading a funny article about crushes on Thought Catalog yesterday and I suffered nonstop giggles for the whole day just recollecting on the silly stuff I’ve did when I was crushing on people. Gone were the days of running past a crush’s classroom and hoping to catch a glimpse of him being studious or yummy-looking. With the advent of social media, my career of stalking crushes was taken to a higher level. And being a communications graduate, finding out what my crush ate for lunch was way too easy. That said, there were also the disadvantageous aspects to freaking Facebook, my stalker-device. =.=
- Facebook told me the guy was gay and had no intention of liking any girl.
- Facebook shared with me his political ideas which I’m totally against. He bitched about a politician that had just passed away! OMFG! Where’s the respect?!?!
- Facebook made me see his crappy photos from school. What’s with that middle-parting hair??
- Facebook restricted me from seeing his Timeline. Damnit!!
- Facebook gossiped about the sloppy habits he had. Unshaven for days?!? WHAT?!
- Facebook threw me into a state of turmoil when I found out he had a girlfriend/boyfriend/WHATEVER!
- Facebook state him as a fervent ‘jrock’ fan. Hey! No goth-art and squeaky weird songs!
- Facebook had photos of him with other ladies. Excuse me while I do a quick check
- Facebook unveiled his grammatically incorrect English. I thought we live in a well-educated society?
- Facebook turned me into a full time creep, stalking an impossible fellow every few hours and I couldn’t stop!
Facebook ruined the perfect image of every crush I had. But thanks to FB, I did have a fair share of fun!
fyi. This is a collection of realisation from my years of stalker-rage on different guys.